Celebarting mama ...

**Warning, this is long and meant for my record, but I thought I would share it none the less.**

Early last week I was reading a post on someones blog about her thoughts on being a mom. She encouraged all those writing to do their own post on motherhood ... so here goes ... I'm sure it won't be as eloquent as hers and I'm writing in a letter form to Ethan, since he is the one that made me a mama.

To Ethan, who is my heart running around outside of my body,

Today is my fifth mother's day! My first one you weren't quite three months old. I would have been coming out of those sleep deprived, overwhelming, anxiety filled first weeks of "motherhood."I was on my way to weeks filled with monotonous routine, repeating the three basics of your life ... eat, sleep, potty (repeat). I was starting to figure out how to take care of you and take care of your dad all while trying to take care of the house and for my sanity throw in a little something for me during the day. Many days I would watch the hours on the clock tick by so quickly and as Daddy walked through the doors, home from work, realize I had no idea what I had done all day, but I was exhausted! The first year was a big transition for me, adjusting from the "corporate" world, where I had spent the last 8 years of my life ... to the world within the walls of our home. And as hard as some days were, and still are, I never once regretted my choice to be your mama full time. I'm a perfectionist and I knew in my heart that no one could raise you or take care of you as good as I could. I also knew there was no way I could kid myself into thinking that I could manage a career (outside of motherhood), motherhood and marriage and be successful at any of them. So I choose and still choose you!

I have often said that I have the best job in the world. It's like having the weekend 7 days a week! I know that doesn't match with the picture I painted above, the repetition of life and seemingly mundane tasks, like changing diapers, doing dishes and loads and loads of laundry. But what I haven't said yet is how I get to be the one to wake up to your smile every morning. I get to snuggle with you whenever I want during the day. I get to lay you down for your naps, hold you when you need held, be the recipient of hugs and kisses through the day. We play together and get to be silly with each other. Each day is full of some much potential, filled with so many options and you and I are the ones who decide what we want to do. I have had the joy and privilege of watching you LIVE almost each day of your life. To see you grow, learn, discover ... to have you as my daily "helper" and best little buddy.

It's saddens me that our world today has seemingly lost the importance of being a full time mom. We've been reduced to being "just a mom" or "not working" or one of the many other comments on my current career. I've heard people lament the idea of "loosing themselves" to becoming just a mom. Well there is a little truth to that ... being a mom is the hardest job on earth and yes, you do have to be selfless and give up your wants, your time, your desires and focus on the little person(s) you are growing. But, I have never not known who I was, I've always known my hearts desires and I still cultivate my passions and dreams. I just make them work with or around my job of being your mom.

I see the awesome responsibility I've been given, the gift that you are and the incredible impact I will have on your life. Each day I am with you I am helping shape your character and influencing the kind the person you will grow into. That is SO huge ... we need people to run this world and we hear over and over that "children are our future" ... so why do we put so little emphasis on how these children turn into people that can run the world?

I just want you to know that I love my job being your mom. Their is nothing greater I would want to do, nothing that would give me more self worth or happiness. This is it, I hit the jackpot in the lottery of careers. No matter how many times I wash your face, pick up your toys, scrub stains out of your clothes ... I never resent what I am doing. Hearing you say, "I like you and I love you" just once in my day is incentive to do all I do and more for you!

I like you and love you too!
Mommy

To all mothers, who are active, engaged in and loving their children ... blessing to you! I hope you had a wonderful day yesterday being filled up with love from your children!

5.11.08

1. Waking up with the option of whatever I wanted for breakfast and still choosing my go to Grape Nuts :).
   
2. Enjoying church with my family.
3. A yummy lunch of bagel sandwiches ... I'm easy to please :P
4. A 2 hour nap!
5. A little dessert, scrapbooking, tv catching up to finish off a wonderful day!

5.12.08

1. Waking up and going for my morning "wog" and feeling good the whole day for doing it!
   
2. The blessing Knitty Bitties has been (more on this tomorrow)
3. Successfully reinstalling Photoshop and Illustrator on the new hard drive.
4. Helping a dear friend move into her new home, so much closer to us!
5. Listening to Ethan's "pretend play" in the bath while I blog (love that the computer is just outside the door of the bathroom!
   

Happy Monday!